ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize