I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
