Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
