New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
