kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize