Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
