I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
We just shotgunned beers for America
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
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