I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize