wakey wakey hands off snakey
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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