Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize