He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize