I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
