I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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