im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
