are you still at the devil's house?
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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