dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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