Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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