Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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