I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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