you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
