Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Randomize
