Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
