what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Randomize