I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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