He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I need moral support for this bender
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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