Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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