Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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