i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Randomize
