hell yes lets make some ravioli
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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