Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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