That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize