Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
