talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i need an iv and a liver transplant
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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