You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
