sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
