That reminds me...we need to get swords
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
