Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I'm too high and old for this...
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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