We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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