Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Randomize
