mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize