He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
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