I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
