turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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