did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
