I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
