She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
