Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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