What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Will exercising make me less horny?
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