just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Randomize
