We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
