i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
