I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
soo... how was my night?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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