did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Randomize
