come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
