fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
