i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
