dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
