Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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